Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Remembering Mother on Her Death Anniversary

My mother at 18 years old.
Today mark's another year of her death, one of the most painful and saddest day of my life. I know it's been a long time since she left us, and yet, it still feels like yesterday. The pain is still there, and tears will slowly overflow every time I remember that very moment when she left us.

Everyday I am fighting loneliness and longing for her presence especially when things don't go my way, and when there is no one for me to talk to. I felt like dying and sometimes I wish to be with her. I am so glad and thankful that I found God in my life and He make things easier for me to get through everyday.

Me at 6 years old with Mom.
Mother's passing was really unexpected. We had no time to prepare, it was so sudden. We all taught she will be fine and getting better, no one in the room taught she would left us that day. Her sudden death is a shock to me and to my family. We were completely caught off guard. There are no goodbyes, just a lot of regrets. I had my fair share of regrets and a ton of guilt when she left us. It took me few years to find peace with myself after her death and came to realize that her passing isn't my fault nor anyone from my family. But realizing that it's her time to go home and that God needed her and I needed to become the person I am today.

Nanay Oping.
My mother taught me so much in life and even after her death she continued to influence my thinking and behavior towards other people. It is because of the confidence and values that she instilled in me that made who I am today. In dealing her death I realized to value life, appreciate the people around me, and realize how precious every moment is.

My dearest Nanay Oping was truly an incredible woman. And I strive to be like her everyday (which I know I'm far from being one) leaving a legacy that even if she's long gone people would still remember her goodness and kind heart. 

She will always be remembered not because she is good and kind but because she is my Wonder Woman, My Bestfriend and My Super Mom. Her memory lives in my heart and I miss her so much.

Proud to be her mini me.
I love you Nanay. I miss you. Until we meet again...


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